NFL Shortens Games to Include More National Anthems

The NFL announced Friday they will make adjustments to the upcoming 2020 football season to allow for an enhanced inclusion of various cultures into the pre-game celebration. Beginning on opening day, every game this season will include an extended National Anthem “sing-along” to include up to 16 different pieces of music.

In a press release Friday, the League stated, “We believe we have wronged a multitude of people and cultures dating back to the inception of the game. In a heart-felt response to those who have been offended for more than 150 years, we will now include national anthems from sixteen different cultures, including two regions in Europe and one in Communist China.”

This unprecedented move has forced some adjustments to the game itself. The League has committed to airing the full pre-game celebration. Due to strict programming schedules and limited television air time, the football game will now only be played up to the end of the first half. If the game is tied at the end of two quarters, a coin will be tossed to determine the winner.

An unnamed source from within the NFL said they considered limiting the game to just one quarter, but felt that would be unfair to the teams if they were unable to switch end zones after the first period. 

Advertisers, concerned they were losing valuable air time, were quickly set at ease. The League and cable outlets agreed to remove only one 60-second spot during the telecast to assure all of the scheduled advertising and the full musical celebration would be seen.  

The Football Players Union applauded the move, suggesting the game time be shortened to ten minute quarters, and then demanded all players received a 20% bonus for their now limited playing time.